I am angry.

In fact I'm pissed the fuck off.

I have a 6 year old child with a life long illness that could possibly kill her. It could kill her in her sleep tonight, or tomorrow at school, or the next day on the baseball field. It probably wont, but it could.

Her friend told her: The die in diabetes means you can die. She came to me crying, worried that she might die. How do you explain that to a 6 year old? You can't. Or I can't. Because while it's not true that the die in diabetes means she could die. She really could die from this.

I have a 6 year old child who has to get 5 shots ever single day. That's 5 shots a day 365 days a year. That is 1825 shots a year. That doesn't include days where she gets more than 5 shots. She has to poke her fingers, her tiny little fingers, 10 times a day, 3650 times a year.

It doesn't stop her. Not for 1 second. Today at baseball I checked her blood sugar. The reading came back at 54. I gave her chocolate. she came back up to 99, I gave her a bit more chocolate. What I wanted to do was pack her in my car and run home. But she had a game to play. We can't let the diabetes rule her life, she has to play baseball, she has to play soccer, she has to be a kid. But I was so scared. I treated her and sent her back out to play.

So yeah I'm angry. I'm also scared. Scratch that I'm terrified. At some point your kids get older and you get to sleep through the night. But I don't. I wake up ever night to check her blood sugar to make sure she's not too low. If she's low I get her to sip some juice. If she's high I get her up to go pee.

We have a mini jansport that we carry everywhere. In it is: Insulin, needles, meter, fruit snacks, alcohol swabs, and glucogon. If she were to go into a diabetic coma I'm supposed to jab her with this glucogon needle. Will I be able to do so? I have no clue. I hope so. Every single time I leave my house I have to be prepared for the worst. I have no choice in the matter. http://www.type1parents.org/t1d/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=36